Dating Den Episode 69 – With Angela: Define Emotionally Available — Is He? Is She? What Is It? And, How to Be It to Create Connections in Your Relationships Now
How do you know if you are emotionally available?
Why do you think you are responsible for both sides of the relationship?
In this coaching call with Angela, we look at some limiting beliefs she created a long time ago that are still affecting her today and strategies to help her transform her dating life and personal relationships.
She recently separated with a drawn out break up. a serious relationship from the beginning. She started online dating & has met someone she likes.
What Exactly Does it Mean When a Man is Unavailable? [3:43]
A man who is not available emotionally, may not be willing to talk about and be open to everything a relationship requires.
Angela and her past partner couldn’t move past the stressors. They were constantly in fight, flight or fright mode. Angela has her love shield up to guard her heart due to a childhood need to be accepted and loved by her father. During her parent’s divorce, she felt the same longing to be able to make it all work out well. She created a limiting belief that she wasn’t important enough.
Her foundation principle is to take care of everything, including herself and that she is responsible for taking care of the people in her life. In her developmental years, Angela became a surrogate spouse instead of a daughter.
How to Have a Great Relationship with the New Guy [16:57]
Angela’s new relationship seems to have all the right pieces but she is still hyper-vigilant about trying to control the situation. She fears she still needs to be responsible for everything that happens.
Angela’s homework:
Don’t take responsibility for others,
Collect data about whether, or not, her partner can meet his own needs.
Recognize the triggers that make her feel not worthy.
She should get her pre-frontal cortex back online with breathing exercises.
She needs to work on her own emotionally unavailability.
She should have an unwavering confidence in who she is.
You can’t be a little girl in a grown-up relationship!
Angela’s Key Lessons and Takeaways [32:53]
If Angela wants to commit to truly understanding of what a real relationship should look like she should:
Recognize her partner can handle himself,
She doesn’t need to be responsible for everything and everybody.
Become aware of her own transformation.
Being emotionally available attracts emotional availability.
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