Dating Den Episode 202 – With Man-Panelist Chris Gillis — Did You Date a Guy with a Rocky Past? And, What to Do to Make a Quality Guy Fall for You Hard.
Marni and Chris discuss Tayshia’s brilliant idea to extract the guys’ vulnerability by asking them to create a physical representation of themselves in the form of an art project. This revealing episode of the Bachelorette divulges secrets and sensitive information the guys may not have been comfortable sharing before.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- When a guy likes a girl he will bare his soul
- What you can do to inspire a guy to be his best self
- Is a rocky past a dealbreaker?
- How to spot a control freak
When a Guy Gets Vulnerable [3:18]
Chris admits this episode made him nervous because the guys had to get super vulnerable during the art project. But, surprisingly, they shed their protective layers and even bonded with each other. Most of the guys talked about how uncomfortable it was to talk about their feelings, but they did it for Tayshia.
The key to a quality guy is that he will get uncomfortable because he wants to make you happy or create a connection with you.
In an unusual move, during the art project, Ben drops his robe to the floor and, with a hand over his private parts, says to Tayshia ‘I want you to see all of me’. It was received well by Tayshia, but to the other guys and viewers, it may have seemed a little douchey. What we learned later was that Ben struggled with bulimia and this was an extremely vulnerable move.
Marni says she likes Brené Brown’s definition of vulnerability. “When you say or do something and you don’t know what the outcome will be, but you say or do it anyway.”
If you are an irresistible woman you will inspire a guy to be his best self.
Is a Rocky Past a Red Flag? [16:27]
Should a girl rule out a guy because they are recovering from an addiction or has had bad relationships? Chris and Marni are on the fence about the issue. Chris says it depends on whether or not the guy is still stuck in the victim mentality or whether he is actively working on his issues.
Marni says that we are all humans and most people have baggage but if we are truly interested in the person it is important to consider how the person is navigating through it and ultimately what their core values are.
Ladies, if a guy has secrets, be curious, but cautious.
Spotting the Control Freak [29:26]
Bennet was one of those in the early episodes that came on strong as a possible winner. He is the smart, handsome Harvard guy. But in this episode, he just won’t leave young Noah alone. Marni says he shows his true colors and while he might seem like the ideal date he comes off like a bad boss who does more harm than good.
Chris adds that even though Bennet is handsome, he is no Clark Kent. Superman wouldn’t pick a battle with a lesser opponent.
Take it ‘Eazy’ When You Share Your Feelings [39:27]
Bachelorette, Tayshia is confident and mature, so when Eazy shared his strong feelings early in the game she looked a tad uncomfortable. Why would Eazy say that he could see Tayshia as his wife and that he was falling in love with her instead of waiting it out?
It may have seemed nice at first but the pair had not yet talked about their values. Chris and Marni agree that it was way too early for Eazy to share his feelings of love. His being sent home afterward was almost expected.
In dating, it is not about hooking a fish. A relationship is about the long play.
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