Dating Den Episode 228 – With Melanie Lippman: Is Your Boss Babe Fashion Giving Off an Unapproachable Vibe?
On this week’s Dating Den, Marni speaks with New York-based Image Consultant and Personal Stylist for high achieving women, Melanie Lippman. Melanie advises clients about the clothes and self-talk to uplevel their confidence. She designs personal wardrobes for her clients that can eliminate overwhelm. She shares her best tips for dressing to increase your approachability factor.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- What clothes match your personality
- Why wearing oversized clothes is a no-no
- Why some women hide underneath their clothes
- Style tips for dressing for a date
- What to wear on the weekends
Clothes Send a Message About Who You Are [2:32]
Many women wear oversized clothes because of body image issues that started when they were just children. Little girls are sponges during our formative years and just one comment from an aunt or sibling and we are stuck with that limiting belief until we change it. Most of us experience this when we are going through a struggle, like the bad lighting in the fitting room.
Why do we fear calling attention to ourselves?
Melanie says when limiting beliefs about our bodies come up we should think about where those thoughts came from. Then approach style from the opposite direction and think about what style can do FOR us. Often we females, hurt ourselves with negative self-talk. We tend to focus on things we don’t like when we look in the mirror and instead we need to focus on what lights us up.
Stop using clothes to hide, it’s not what clothes are for.
Your personal style is all about being authentic and having fun with it. You don’t want to feel like you are putting on a costume. Send the right message. Make sure the way you show up is in alignment with the message you want to send. Because if you don’t it can come off as inauthentic and it causes distrust.
Clothing is the largest form of non-verbal communication. Make sure you are sending the message you want to be sending.
Why Are You Hiding? [18:24]
Marni mentions that she has several beautiful, curvy clients and they have a story about their body. They feel they need to wear oversized dresses to hide their body. Melanie relates because she used to wear clothes that were too big for her. She had to learn to dress for her body type.
You have to accept your body type and enjoy what you have.
Wearing bulky clothes or boxy clothes will make you look two sizes bigger than you actually are. A simple strategy to make you look and feel your best:
- Learn your body type
- Dress in a way that balances your proportions
Melanie says, “our eyes seek symmetry”. And, with a few optical illusions, we can create that symmetry. Just changing a few little things allows us to dress confidently.
But, All my Clothes are Work Clothes [27:25]
Many high-achieving women focus their wardrobe mainly on clothes for the office. These women have a ton of work clothes but when it comes to an outfit to go out on a date, they don’t know what to wear.
Melanie says that if this is you invest a little time and energy into finding out what the fun side of you wants to wear. What adjective would you want your weekend style to be? This is where you get to have fun. What is the fun version of you?
Remember these three tips:
- Dress for your body type
- Incorporate your personality into your weekend wardrobe
- You don’t have to be uncomfortable
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