Dating Den Episode 239 – With Connell Barrett: The Inside Scoop from a Male Dating Coach on How to Create Connection with a Quality Guy
In this exclusive episode of the Dating Den, Marni speaks with the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation, Connell Barrett. He teaches men to unlock their most confident and authentic selves so they can connect with wonderful women without being creepy. As a current dater, Connell is all about dating with integrity. He says he can fix any dating problem because he has been through them all!
Key takeaways from this episode:
- The inside scoop about problems men face when dating
- How men try to overcompensate when they don’t feel worthy
- Why men ghost
- How to know when a man is looking for a quality relationship
- Why some men text too much
Dating Problems Men Experience [3:25]
Believe it or not, men have difficulty dating too. They may put on a brave face but lack the confidence to make the first move. Connell coaching clients say the two biggest problems they face are:
- They lack confidence — They don’t feel attractive or worthy. This is an internal issue.
- They don’t know how to talk to women — They don’t know how to express themselves when talking with women. This is an external issue.
Connell says men feel like they have to be witty and funny all the time. They need to know that it is ok to lower the bar and be curious about their date. They don’t have to be on all the time. It relaxes guys to know that women don’t expect a show.
Marni asks, what makes a guy feel comfortable on a date so he doesn’t feel judged? Or, what if someone shows up on a date and it’s not going well… What can a woman do to save it for him?
A man has to realize his value, no matter how the date goes, Connell says. And, he advised women to ask their date to drop the act and show them who he really is because the guy is acting that way because it comes from an insecure place. He is afraid to be vulnerable.
Connell shares a personal example of how a woman helped him to date better. He used to overcompensate. He was arrogant and acting cool, when she asked “why can’t you just be yourself?” It changed his dating life forever.
You can’t force chemistry which is what makes it magical.
Why Men Ghost [12:55]
One of the worst things a guy can do is make a woman think he is interested and then just stop returning texts and never calling again. So, Marni asks the burning question we all want to know the answer to, Why Do Men Ghost?
Connell says it is basically because they are afraid to say something the other person needs to hear. Guys do it because they are trying to protect themselves from the pain or discomfort of telling a woman they have lost interest and no longer want to date them.
If you ghost someone they could interpret it as not being worthy so, do the right thing and be direct and open.
How to Move Past the Endless Texts [26:13]
When a guy sends several texts a day, it is a sign he is interested, but what if his texts are boring and mundane? Or, worse, he never gets to the asking you out on a date part. Connell advises women to take the lead in the conversation. Start a conversation that is more enjoyable for you. Start flirting and see if he follows.
If he doesn’t respond to flirting like you thought he would remember that many men are clueless. Everyone is afraid of rejection, men included. Anything a woman can do to let a guy know that if he asks her out her answer will be yes, the better.
Be flirty and playful when texting with men. What have you got to lose?
Make a Connection:
Follow us on Instagram @thedatingden