Dating Den Episode 270 – What To Do When He Starts To Pull Away with Chris Gillis
Marni and Chris join forces to dissect the real-life dating lessons extracted from the 3-hour case studies openly provided by Bachelor in Paradise. The contestants may be on TV, but they date just like the rest of us.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- What to do when something feels off and a guy pulls away
- How to stay positive when you feel rejected
- Dating long-distance and making plans for the future
- Catching someone in a lie
What To Do When Something Feels Off [2:06]
When something feels off, it can be a tough thing to decipher. Is it your intuition speaking out? Are you imagining it? Or, is self-sabotage rearing its ugly face. Does the other person feel it too?
In the show, Kenny feels that something is off with Mari yet he says nothing. Mari on the other hand feels that something is off with Kenny because he is acting differently after saying ‘I love you’.
Marni says as soon as a relationship starts to get deep, people get vulnerable but then second guess the feelings they just shared. Chris adds that it is hard for a guy to admit they are insecure or scared about how a relationship is going and to have relationship conversations.
The faster you can tell your partner something feels off, the better. Telling your friends or therapist doesn’t get you closer to understanding what is going on.
Staying Positive When You Feel Rejected [11:59]
James, McKenna, and Abigail all have experience with being rejected but they all handle it differently. James is confident, resilient, and seems not to take rejection personally. When Aaron tells McKenna he is working through some stuff, she immediately lashes out and calls him a jerk. And, Abigail just sabotages herself by acting coy when Noah openly shares his feelings for her.
If you take too long to lean in, someone with self-worth may not wait for you.
Abigail set herself up. She didn’t ask Noah clear questions when they began dating. Even after Noah breaks up, Abigail doesn’t take the opportunity to ask why.
If a guy tells you what he is feeling, if it’s not what you want to hear, don’t blame him.
If you want a clear answer, ask a clear question
What To Do When You Catch Someone in a Lie [34:45]
If you are casually dating someone and you catch them in a lie if they are your person, check-in and ask them what’s up. If they are not your person, Marni says you don’t need to confront them.
On the show, a guy told a lie to Chelsea and she didn’t confront him with it because she probably didn’t care enough about him to enough to say something.
Ladies, if you are in a relationship you have to address it. You have to find out why. Chris admits to lying about his age when online dating to outwit the algorithm.
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