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Dating Den Episode 184 - Coaching Allison: Why Are You Attracting the Wrong Type of Guy?


Dating Den Episode 184 - Coaching Allison: Why Are You Attracting the Wrong Type of Guy?



Dating Den Episode 184 – With Allison: Why Are You Attracting the Wrong Type of Guy?

In this episode of the Dating Den, Marni coaches Allison, who is living in Italy trying to avoid the ‘I give up’ syndrome because she is not attracting the right guys online. She asks Marni for guidance about how to filter through her options faster and how to create a more focused approach to her dating life. Her goal is to find a guy who shares her values and vision.

Key takeaways from this episode:

  • Learn better filtering techniques
  • Empower yourself to ask for a date
  • Make your profile more authentic to who you are
  • Get off the device and on to the date
  • Be curious, open, and optimistic in dating

Allison’s Typical Dating Experience [2:09]

Before COVID Allison was dating online and going out with people she met a few times a month. But she was overwhelmed by meeting so many guys that were different than who she thought they would be. She is really hoping for in-person chemistry. Marni gives Allison permission to ask for an in-person date faster. She warns that Allison may be creating pseudo-intimacy with a person because the chatting back and forth mimics interest and connection. But by the time Allison actually meets the guy, it is disappointing because the connection isn’t real. There is nothing to fear. We are all just human beings who want to find a partner. If someone isn’t willing to make a plan, it lets you know about his interest level and his integrity. Traditional gender roles don’t apply until you meet. There is too much to do in today’s world. You don’t need a penpal or to create a false sense of connection. We are always doing the best we can, even when it doesn’t look like it. Self-introspection allows us to shift our mindset and ultimately have healthier relationships because we have a better relationship with ourselves.

Creating Your Online Brand [15:52]

Allison says she is cautious about adding that she wants a long-term relationship and kids to her profile. Marni encourages her to be clear, direct, and her authentic self. She uses the analogy of a department store not marketing to its target market. The point hits home with Allison, who is tired of wasting time.

Your online brand should be creative, engaging, flirty, and fun.

If you create a better online brand for yourself, you are going on dates curious, open, and optimistic about whether the person you are with has the same vision and values as you. The bottom line is that you want to rock the boat and shake out the guys who aren’t what you are looking for more quickly.

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